Elder Journey 2005 Archives

2006 Archive

January 10: THE ART OF BEING ALONE

What does it mean, to "be alone". To an elder who has lost a beloved spouse, it means a new, different, possibly terrifying style of life. But even a happily married individual is sometimes alone for an hour - a day - a week. One of the reasons I like to hike in the mountains is to briefly experience being alone with only myself to rely on - only myself to keep me company.

One can be alone in a less physical sense. In a strange surrounding you can be alone in a crowd. You can be alone in your opinion that the emperor has no clothes. Indeed, every Unitarian is alone in the sense that our church does not give us a creed of faith, but allows (forces?) us to formulate our own religious beliefs.

Jonathan Franzen has written a book of essays titled "How to Be Alone". Our facilitator, Betty Seike, will start our discussion by telling us something about the book. But only YOU know where the discussion will go from there! Start the New Year right by coming to Elder Journey in Room 6 for an hour on Tuesday, Jan. 10. We start at 3:45 prompt.

January 24: SAFETY FIRST

*       Do you have a slippery rug at the top of the stairs?
*       Do you keep a cake of soap on the shower floor?
*       Are sharp knives helter-skelter in a dimly lit drawer?
*       Are your matches conveniently located right over the stove?
*       Are your front steps crumbling?

Of course not! We UUs are too smart to do any of those stupid things. But there may be more subtle booby traps. Rev. Darcey will bring an expert in to warn of us some of the possible dangers in every-day living at home. There will be plenty of time for questions, of course. If you consider yourself an "Elder", come join us as we meet for an hour in cozy Room 6, promptly at 3:45.

NOTE: The expert Darcey has engaged to talk to us is Martin a "Residential Safety Specialist" from a company called Home Safety Services. We need a good turn out because he is visiting us without charge in hopes that we have 15 or more attendees. Be there! Perhaps it will save your life; for sure it will save UUCPA money.

February 14: BE MY VALENTINE

If the Elder Journey meeting on February 14 at 3:45 in Room 6 had taken place in different centuries with different leaders, the topic might have been one of the following:

Love makes the world go round - ancient proverb
Love conquers all - Virgil
The course of true love never did run smooth. - William Shakespeare
How do I love thee, let me count the ways - Elizabeth Barrett Brownning
I do not know what this love may be - W. S. Gilbert

But, since the year is 2006, and the leader will be our beloved parish minister, our topic is:

What I've Learned about Love over the Years - Amy Zucker Morgenstern

And, in the course of our hour together, we will each get a chance to share our own answer to Amy's question. Come join us on Valentine's Day. It should be a LOVEly meeting

February 28: ADRENALINE

SYLLABICATION: a·dren·a·line PRONUNCIATION: -drn-ln

1. A hormone secreted by the adrenal medulla that is released into the bloodstream in response to physical or mental stress, as from fear or injury. It initiates many bodily responses, including the stimulation of heart action and an increase in blood pressure, metabolic rate, and blood glucose concentration.

I suppose it was "fear": fear that the baby would be born in the backseat of our car somewhere on the 20 miles of Los Angeles streets that lay between our house and the hospital.

I'll tell you all about it - and about the adrenaline letdown when the emergency was over. That will only take me a few minutes; then I want to hear about *YOUR* adrenaline experience.

March 14: PERSONAL SECURITY - ELDER ABUSE

First you are a Child and Mommy and Daddy protect you from the world. Then you are an Adult and can take care of yourself. But now you are an Elder. You've lost some of your strength and reaction time and your memory ain't what it used to be. All of the people in our UU community and most of the people in the world out there accept you as you are, and even give a bit of help if it's called for. But there are a few "bad guys" who'd like to take advantage of you, physically or financially.

Misao Sakamoto has arranged for a Representative of the Palo Alto Police Department to address the group re: identity theft, personal security, elder abuse, etc. We have had burglaries in Palo Alto recently, so he will also cover this topic. This meeting will be in the Fireside Room.

March 28: UNFINISHED BUSINESS

*       What is left to do in this lifetime?
*       What did I hope to do that I will not be able to accomplish?
*       What plans am I making to honor the hopes and dreams of a lifetime?
*       What connections or relational things do I want to do, or wish I had done?

Bring your own answers to these and other "Unfinished" items on your life's journey. The Rev. Darcey will facilitate.

April 11: ELDER SPIRITUALITY

We change as we progress through life from infant to child to teenager to adult to elder - from child to parent to grandparent. Physically we grow taller and wider, then just wider - and then we actually shrink a little. Mentally we acquire new knowledge and learn how to reason logically, then we practice and specialize those skills - and then we find it harder to learnsomething new and we forget things like names and birthdays.

How about spiritually? Do we follow that same pattern of rapid growth, stability, slow decline? How do our feelings and hopes change as we age? As our life goes on, how do we view such things as Life's Meaning, Suffering, Faith, Transcendence, and Death?

Our new Community Minister, Jackie Kelly, will facilitate as we discuss these questions on April 11. Here is a chance for all Elders to get to know Jackie who is a chaplain at the VA.

April 25: MEMORIAL PLANNING

Memorial Services are an important part of being a member of UUCPA. Perhaps you have already had the task of planning a Memorial for a loved one. Or you may have to perform this function in the future. And, let's face it, if you're an Elder today, sometime in the next few decades you may be the raison d'etre for a Memorial Service. The Reverend Darcey will lead us in an informal discussion of this tender topic.

May 9: CAMPS AND CAMPING

Remember long ago when you and I were young? Along about this time of year we'd be looking forward to the end of school and the free time of summer. For many of my young summers that involved planning some sort of camping. It might be an organized camp with planned activities for which my parents paid willingly to get me out of their hair. Or it might be loading up the car or our bikes with tents and pots and food and heading for a public campsite.

And then, a quarter of a century later I lived through the same experiences from the viewpoint of a parent. More recently, I even was involved in camping experiences with our grandchildren.

After the serious and sober discussions of the April meetings, it will be fun to just sit back and relax and share our memories of CAMPS and CAMPING.

Sylvia will lead us.

May 23: STUMP THE EXPERT

Circle all the appropriate letters - -

1. My (a) child
(b) grandchild

2. Gave me a          (a) Cell phone
                             (b) Electronic Camera
                             (c) I-Pod
                             (d) Other ________

3. and said             (a) "Dad
                             (b) "Mom
                             (c) "Grandpa
                             (d) "Grandma

you really can't get along without this." So you dutifully said "thank you",

4.   BUT                  (a) You don't remember how to turn it on
                             (b) It's on but you don't know how to do anything
                             (c) you can make a call but panic when your phone rings
                             (d) you can take a picture but don't know how to save it
                             (d) you can play a tune but can't control which tune

Good News. Amy has promised us that on May 23 she will bring an expert to Elder Journey. Someone who is not only smart enough to know all about how these things work (after all, your average 8-year old grandchild can do that), but is smart enough to explain it to us chronologically advantaged Elders in terms that WE can understand.

June 13: FAVORITE GRANCHILD ADVENTURE

Grandchildren are special. If you're a grandparent you know what I mean. So share with us a special favorite. It could be something big, like going on an intergenerational Elderhostel. Or it could be something small like when she had trouble deciding between a chocolate or a strawberry ice cream cone and the look on her face when you said, "Why don't I get you one of each?"

But suppose that like Cathy's mother, you don't have grandchildren? The important thing isn't the blood relationship; it's the close relationship with someone two generations younger than you are. Do you have a favorite grand-niece? A step-grand-nephew? A neighbor's grandchild? Do you volunteer for STEP or the UU CRE program? You must have someone: even Mr. Wilson has his Dennis!

Come and let me tell you about my favorite moment with a special young person - and let me hear about yours.

June 27: FAVORITE LISTENING

“Listen, my children, and you shall hear . . .”

HOW do you listen? Is music simply “there” as a background while you read or surf the web or even talk over it? Do you get comfortable, turn on the music, and let your mind drift where it will – perhaps even doze off? Do you have the score in front of you and follow every note? Do you actively hum or sing along with the music?

WHERE do you listen? At home, to radio, tv, or disc? Do you have season tickets to a concert or opera series? Do you scan the papers for performances?

And now the crucial question, WHAT is (are) your favorite(s) for listening? What piece, composer, instrument, genre do you keep coming back to? Play over and over at home? Go to San Jose, San Francisco, Berkeley - or even New York or Germany – to hear in live performance?

Tom Faxon will lead off and facilitate.

Note: “Favorite Places”, originally scheduled for June 27, has been postponed until fall. Joan Wells who was scheduled to lead that discussion has pneumonia. We wish her a speedy recovery.

July 11: GARDENING

The Philosopher once said, “A person who would be happy for a day should get drunk; a person who would be happy for a year should get married; but a person who would be happy for a lifetime should start a garden.” I don’t agree with his first option, and I’ve been happily married for 63 years, but there is something about a garden . . .

What is your favorite gardening activity? Cultivating, sowing, weeding, harvesting – or just looking? Flowers, vegetables, mosses, rocks? An acre, a back yard, a tiny bed, or a flowerpot?

Helen Rutledge will facilitate and tell us why she loves gardening. Then we’ll all have a turn. If you think that gardening is “for the birds” (worms in a garden - get it?), then come and tell us what you do to be “happy for a lifetime”.

July 25: FAVORITE HOLIDAY

The one problem with retirement is that it’s hard to keep track of Holidays. I enjoy Labor Day when the whole family gets together and Labors to produce lots of turkey and cranberries and potatoes and minced pie. I also like Thanksgiving when everyone is Thankful for all the presents under the decorated pine tree in the living room. But my favorite is Easter on February 2. That’s when Jesus comes out of the ground three days after he is buried, and if he sees his shadow he goes back in his tomb and we have six more weeks of winter. I do get them mixed up.

Do you have a favorite Holiday? Julie Cockcroft will start our meeting on July 25 by telling us about her favorite, and then everyone else will get a chance.

August 8: FAVORITE SOUNDS

Hear that lonesome whistle
blowin' 'cross the trestle,
"Whoo-ee."
A whoo-ee-duh whoo-ee,
Ol' clickety clack's a-echoin' back
the blues in the night.

Words & Music by Johnny Mercer & Harold Arlen, 1941

Memories: Rereading an old love letter. - Looking through a photograph album. - Seeing a silent movie from the 20’s - - All visual clues in the present that bring back vivid memories of the past.

But there are other clues; Sounds, for instance: The lonesome whistle of a steam locomotive – a coyote’s howl or a loon’s laugh – the clop clop of a horse’s hooves – raindrops beating on a plastic tent – the muted sounds of the fall’s first snowstorm – the burbling of a brook or the roaring of the surf – the overheard melody that is haunting but you can’t remember the name – The distant bugler playing “taps” - - -

Malva Blosser will tell us some of her favorite sounds and lead us as we each contribute from our own experience.

August 22: SONGS OF OUR CHILDHOOD

Darling I am growing old,
Silver threads among the gold

Remember the little paper-backed song books we had in school or in camp. The Golden Song Book (175 songs - words and music – for 15 cents) was one, but there were others. “Annie Laurie”, “Battle Hymn of the Republic”, “Carry Me Back to Old Virginny”, “Believe Me if All those Endearing Young Charms” . . .

Well, Jean Nelson is gonna bring us some words and music to some old time favorites and we-all is a-gonna sing ‘em out, loud and clear.

Got an old song you’d like to have included? Just let her or me know ahead of time and we’ll do our best to include it.

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne.
We’ll tak’ a cup o’ kindness yet
For auld lang syne.

September 12: PLANS FOR 2006-7

Rev. Amy will lead. She writes:

I think starting off with a "what would we like topics to be this year" was very helpful last year—we all drew on them throughout the year. So I will lead something similar, after a checkin about everyone's summer.

September 26: LIVING ALONE, PROS & CONS

Where do you live, you Elders? Are you still in the same house you raised a family in with lots of bedrooms for visiting grandchildren? Or have you moved to a smaller house? Or to an apartment? How about a community that offers “Independent Living”? What happens when you need “Assisted Living”? Or full-time nursing care? Are you truly “Alone” or are you fortunate enough to still live with your life’s partner?

Misao Sakamoto will lead us as each of us talks about the choice we have made for now and our thoughts for our futures.

October 10: CHILDREN

Rev.Darcey will facilitate. She writes:

Children say the darndedst things.
This weeks' Elder Journey will answer 2 questions:

1. What are those adorable things your children and grandchildren have said and done to melt your heart or make you chuckle?

2. How do we make room for children in our lives?.

October 24: LUCKY STRIKE HIT PARADE
THE FIRST TEN YEARS

When I was in high school, ten pm on Wednesdays and Saturdays would find me in bed with my radio tuned to the Lucky Strike Hit Parade. In 1937, 19 different songs were ranked #1, led by “Harbor Lights” – I can still sing most of the words to most of them.

We’re going to have another sing-along, today. Words will be provided for the top hits from 1935-1945, and Jenise Fuess will be at the piano to provide the music. Those old tunes were so singable that even if you don’t remember the melody, you’ll pick it up as we go along.

November 14 BOO

I know, Halloween is long gone, but November 14 will be our first Elder Journey meeting since then, and there might still be a few stray spirits hanging around.

Which reminds me that way way back, during Prohibition, my father had a friend who made his own cherry wine. One year he had an especially fine batch, and he gave a bottle of it to his minister. The minister was delighted to receive it, and at an appropriate time in the Service the next Sunday he announced, “And I wish to thank Brother Marvin for his gift of cherries, and especially for the spirit in which they were sent.”

All of which has nothing to do with our next meeting at which Amy will lead us in a discussion of

“Your Spiritual Timeline”

But if you want to know more about that, you’ll have to come to the Elder Journey meeting on Tuesday, November 14 in Room 6 at 3:45. I’m not going to give everything away in this column.

November 28 A Thanksgiving I’ll never forget

Betty Seike will lead us in a pleasant journey down Memory Lane. What Thanksgiving will YOU never forget? Or, if Thanksgiving is not an important part of your background, feel free to substitute some other memorable holiday: Ground Hog Day, St. Patrick’s Day, Bastille Day, . . . , whatever. Our topics are just a springboard to give a little focus to an hour spent in relaxed conversation. Join us if you’re an ELDER – and make your own definition of the word.

December 12 Yummy

Cookies are an important Christmas treat in Finland. The French enjoy eating Strasbourg (liver) pie and black pudding. In Germany roast goose is enjoyed for Christmas dinner. An old English dinner includes brawn which is headcheese, roast peacock, boar's head, and mutton pies. Italians enjoy baked Magi cakes (small wafers) with fried eels, chicken, and pork. A Norwegian Christmas pudding contains an almond. Poles bake small wafers called oplatski which are stamped with small figures and blessed by the priest. Fish called lutfisk is served as the main dish in Sweden, and Juulgrot, a pudding made of rice and milk, is also enjoyed.*

So what is YOUR favorite holiday treat? Darcey will lead us as we exchange culinary traditions and recipes. Feel free to bring a sample!

* Information from Christmas Around the World

December 26 No meeting

Have a happy holiday. See you next year.

Philip Hodge, Court Jester

Unitarian Universalist Church of Palo Alto