Elder Journey 2008 Archives

2008 Archive

January 8 OUR FAVORITE SONGS

Jean Nelson will lead Elder Journey as we start the New Year with a real old-fashioned sing-along. Rev Eva will bring her guitar and Sylvia Whitcher will be at the Fireside piano. But YOU must provide the songs!

Make a list of your favorite songs in order of preference (not more than 5 or 6, please). Include both the title and the first line if possible - if you have all the words, better yet. Send your list to

elderjourney-info@uucpa.org

- that way all our leaders will get it. They’ll pick the most popular ones that at least one of our musicians can play, and we’ll have ourselves a ball. Deadline for song lists is 12/28/07.

January 22 What qualities do we want in our ministers?

Rev Eva writes: I want to come to the group January 22 to get some responses from the group about the transition we’re in during this interim, and the qualities we want in the second minister.

February 12 Movie Roles as Role Models

I’ve been seeing a lot of old movies at the Stanford Theatre lately. While I’m watching a good movie, I frequently identify with one of the characters. Usually the identification stops when “THE END” appears on the screen, but there was one old movie where I kept thinking about it. And right away I knew that was the answer to a fun question: “If, instead of being ME, I had to be some character in a particular movie, WHO would it be?”

On Tuesday the 26th I’ll lead a light-hearted discussion of this topic. Join us if you consider yourself an ELDER. It will be interesting to see if anyone else picks the same character!

February 26 Listening is an act of love

Rev Kurt writes: “I would like to raise the subject of the Storycorps Project about which a book has just been published. It is called Listening is an act of love. The Project allows two people, one interviewing another one they have chosen (and who, of course, has consented), who sit in a comfortable booth across from each other for 45 minutes.

“I am imagining that I will discuss the project a bit, then have people respond to questions about who they would most want to interview from their life (someone they knew). And what the major three questions or so they would want to ask.”

March 11 What I learned in Sunday School

How did your religious education get started? Did you go to a U or U school and just follow the path of least resistance? Did you go to a more traditional school and get turned off by the creed? Maybe didn’t go to Sunday School – then where did you get your early ideas about ethics and getting along with other people?

These “getting to know you” sessions frequently turn up some surprises. Come join the fun. Rev Eva will lead us.

March 25 Avenidas Village – a One-Call Resource for Elders at home

Avenidas Village is self-described on its web page:
“Avenidas Village means simplifying life's complexities with a one-call resource for all your needs, and make your life more secure, more convenient, more fulfilling, and more fun! You can rely on your Avenidas Village staff to enrich your life with concierge level service in these areas:

Health & Wellness
Daily Living
Arts & Culture
Community Connections”

Vickie Epstein, Program Director, will discuss this program with us: it’s history, what it offers for Elders, how to join, etc. All UU members are invited to attend, whether or not they have come to previous Elder Journey meetings. Even if you’re still a youngster of 50 or less, you might be interested on behalf of an aging parent. Misao Sakamoto who will chair the meeting urges everyone to be there early so that she can turn things over to Vickie promptly at 2:01. Late-comers will be frowned upon.

April 8 “Churchy” Words

There is a hilarious scene in the play, “You Can’t Take it with You” involving the game, “Forget-Me-Not” (unfortunately that scene was not included in the movie). The leader calls out a word and each guest writes down the first word or phrase that pops into his or her head. The answers are then read aloud. Mr. Kirby gives responses such as: Sex – Male and Lust – Unlawful; despite their 30-some years of marriage he is surprised and horrified over the very different responses given by Mrs. Kirby.

Suppose we were to play that game with words such as “Spiritual”, “Grace”, “Mission”, “God”, etc. Many of you probably regard these words as valid descriptions of aspects of your relationship to UUCPA. Indeed, you might respond “UUCPA” to any of them. I’d be more likely to say something like: Spiritual – medium, Grace – Kelly, Mission – Impossible, and God – d___ it.

Anyhow, on April 8 Rev Amy will lead us in a discussion of churchy words such as these. Why do some of us respond negatively? What, exactly, do we mean when we use them--or refrain from using them? Are there other words to convey the same meanings? Join us. It should be a lively discussion.

April 22 My First Favorite Story

Think back in time. Think way back. What is the first book you remember? Were you old enough to read it yourself or did a parent or grandparent first read it to you? What was that book or story and why do you remember it after all these years. What happened next. Did your parents read that same book to your younger sibling? Were you jealous, or did you enjoy hearing it read it again even if you had it memorized by now. Did you read it to your younger sibling?

And later still, did you read it to your children? To your grandchildren? Did it bring back happy memories? Did you enjoy the stories for their own sake? Did you find subtle points that had passed you by before?

I’ll bet we find out a lot about each other as we each pick ONE book or story and answer some of the above questions – perhaps we’ll even find out something new about ourselves. Jean Nelson will lead it off.

May 13 My Favorite Bible Story

You can’t live in today’s US culture without knowing some of the stories in the Bible. Most of us probably first heard them as children. Pick one and think about it. Either testament will be OK. Adam and Eve or Baby Jesus and the three wise men are equally acceptable. When did you first hear the story? What did you think of it then? Did you believe it to be literally true? As an allegory? Or as complete fiction?

How did it stack up against other stories of your childhood? Did Eve’s temptor catch your interest more than Kipling’s bi-colored python rock snake? How about Jonah’s encounter with the whale against Alice’s adventures in wonderland? Would Pooh, Piglet, Tigger, Eyore, etc. have fit in aboard Noah’s Ark?

I had very little “Bible Straight” in my childhood. My chief sources were the camp song, “Young folks, Old folks, everybody come” where I learned “Shadrack, Misach, and Abednego Displeased the king so he said they had to go. He put them in the furnace for to burn them all to chaff, But they wore asbestos underwear and gave the king the laugh.” This was augmented by Sportin’ Life in Gershwin’s “Porgy and Bess”: “Methuslah lived 900 year. Methuslah lived 900 year. But who calls that livin’ When no gal will give in To no man what’s 900 year.”

- - I must confess that most of this column is my idea. All that Reverend Eva actually said to me Sunday morning was “My next topic for Elder Journey will be ‘What is your favorite Bible Story, and why do you remember it?”. So come to Elder Journey on Tuesday May 13 and see what really happens. Maybe we’ll all be surprised!

p.s. Come promptly at 2 pm so you don’t miss our icebreakers. Instead of the usual one-liners, we’re going to sing a few of the many verses to “Young folks, Old folks”. Please bring your guitar, Rev Eva.

May 27 Farewell to Falls

is the title of a Stanford Hospital program of interest to Elders. Barbara Gordon is connected with that program and will tell us something about it. Then Misao Sakamoto will lead us in a discussion of our individual falling proclivities. Tell us about a recent fall. Was it fun? Want to do it again?

Of course not! But what are you doing differently now so that you won’t do it again? Maybe your experience will help me – and vice versa. Join us as we try to make FALL only a season – not a disaster. As always, you will be welcome at this informational session whether or not you are one of our “regular” Elders.

Warning! Be there at 2 pm sharp! Misao believes in starting on time – not one second later. In fact, why not come ten minutes early and have time to socialize a bit before we start?

June 10 Fathers and Children

During the summer, our first session each month will be led by one of our three ministers. June is Rev Eva’s turn. She writes:

“Let's do a session about fathers, and our relationship with them. If not biological fathers, then father figures.

“A question that we could ask is: Share the time you first realized your father considered you a peer, or at least an adult. Of course, there are stories along that road from childhood toward adulthood. For many, though, I think there is a specific time we were seen as an adult in his eyes.”

I suspect there might be a significant difference between the responses of sons and daughters. Here’s a special appeal to you Elders of my sex. Come tell us when (if ever!) your Dad first admitted that you were an Adult Male. 2 pm sharp, Tuesday June 10. Come on time so you don’t miss the special Father’s Day icebreakers.

June 24 Taking care of one’s self as a caregiver

Another in our series of informational meetings. Diane Wilson of Avenidas will be our Guest Speaker. Rev Amy writes:

“She's enthusiastic about talking to us about the slippery boundary between taking care of others and neglecting oneself. Before she came to Avenidas she had many years experience investigating abuse of elders.”

July 8 Turning Significant Ages

Rev Kurt turns 65 that week. He will lead us in a discussion about, “what is wisdom, anyway, and what psychological/spiritual/ethical shifts are possible in advanced age.”

July 22 Pain and how we deal with it

With my ever-decreasing memory I frequently set my kitchen timer to remind me to do something. When it signals, I turn off that annoying buzzer, and then (at least in theory) attend to that something.

Pain is the body’s reminder that something is wrong. Unfortunately, there is no simple way to turn it off. “OK, already. You’ve told me and I’m doing what the doctor said, but my head keeps right on aching!”

Sylvia Whitcher will preside as we consider this problem of dealing with pain. Do you just sit and howl? Do you bore your friends to death by telling them your symptoms in excruciating detail? Or have you found a more constructive reaction such as meditation, distraction, music, visualization, or exercise. Maybe your solution will give me a good idea for my problem.

August12 Laugh and the World Laughs with You

ELDERS! Show the world that there’s, “Life in the old girl, yet.” We’ll sandwich a session of revelry between a the more serious topics of pain and writing. Our Court Jester (that’s me) will be our MC. Please come prepared with a contribution to any or all of the following categories:

One-liners, such as one of our Icebreakers
Jokes (in good taste: “risque” is OK – “dirty” is not)
Songs (sing yourself or lead the group)
“The funniest moment in my life”
Cartoons
Miscellaneous

Come prepared with one or more contributions to the general hilarity.

August 26 Writing as Self-Expression

Our presider, Rev Amy writes,
"Writing is a great way to discover thoughts and feelings we didn't realize we had. We'll start with some "free writing" to loosen up our writing muscles and get our neural networks sparking. Then one or two exercises, as time permits, will guide us into personal reflection. Sharing what we write is optional."

September 9 My Memorable Summer Vacation

Rev Eva will lead us as we start the new church year. She writes: Let's leave the year open. Could be 2008 or 1958, or aything in between. Of course, the main point is what made it memorable, why has that experience stuck with us, what insights did we get about ourselves in relation to the rest of the world that may have changed our lives.

September 23 Avienidas Conference on Caregiving

Misao Sakamoto writes:Jane Glauz and Misao Sakamoto will conduct the Elder Journey program by presenting some phases of the recent Caregiver Conference that both had attended. This was the fifth annual conference presented by Avendidas, City of Mountain View and Home Instead Senior Care. There were six different workshops with six different subjects all related to senior health and care problems.

Some of the workshops were titled:

Help in the Home
What Can a Geriatric Care Manager Do for Me?
Resources for Caregivers
If Only I Could Get Organized.

Jane and Misao can only share the information on the worksops they atteded, but have other materials of interest to all seniors. One workshop dealing with concrete problems was "If Only I Could Get Organized"---presented by a professional organizer. Come and listen to what Jeanne K. Smith, Founder, Exit Stage Right, says about "getting your papers and affairs in order and setting up systems to keep them that way."

Come to Elder Journey to hear more of geriatic problems, caregivers, home health services, dementia, Mental Illness, and homecare.

October 14 Justice-Makers and World-Healers

I don’t remember the term “role model” being used when I was growing up. Nowadays it’s used a lot, but usually in relation to one’s profession. It doesn’t mean a person you want to precisely emulate, but rather a standard against which to measure yourself.

I don’t think that “role model” is quite what Rev Amy has in mind for this week’s topic. But why don’t I just let her speak for herself:

One of the sources of Unitarian Universalism is "words and deeds of prophetic women and men which challenge us to confront powers and structures of evil with justice, compassion, and the transforming power of love.” In my recent Bulletin column, I invited people to share their personal sources. In matters of conscience and justice, who are the people whose lives or words inspire you? We'll share about them today.

October 28 Friends – How to Make Them and Keep Them

Abraham Lincoln said: The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend.

Marlene Dietrich said: It's the ones you can call up at 4:00 a.m. that really matter.

Mark Twain said: Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.

Robert Louis Stevenson said: No man is useless while he has a friend.

Walter Winchell said: A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

What do YOU have to say about Friends?

Come prepared to share your thoughts as Joan Wells leads us in discussing, “Friends – How to Make Them and Keep Them”.

November 11 Will the Election Results affect Your Life?

I assume you all voted last week. And, given the number of candidates and propositions on the ballot, I assume you are happy about some of the results and unhappy about others. But which of the results do you perceive as actually having an affect on your life in the years to come? We’ll have a week after we know the results to think about it. Come and share your thoughts with us other Elders. Rev Eva will help us keep the discussion on target.

November 25 Favorite Poems or Prose

Marty Lynch will lead her first Elder Journey meeting. She invites us to share our favorite bits of writing:

Most of us have favorite poems or pieces of prose that are meaningful to us in some way. Maybe they speak of our spiritual connections or our delight in nature, maybe they inspire us or remind us of who we are. Bring 2 or 3 of the poems or short prose pieces (a paragraph or two) that are special for you. We will share their magic & beauty in this meeting of Elder Journey.

December 9 FAMILY HOLIDAYS - RSVP

Misao Sakamoto has graciously offered to hold the Elder Journey meeting on December 9 at her wheelchair-accessible home, and to start it off with a pot luck luncheon at 12:30. She writes:

I would like it to be a nice sitdown luncheon. I can accomodate 12 people around the dining table, this will give us space for nice conversation and fellowship.

Since her space is limited, the luncheon will be strictly RSVP. Send an email to:
elderjourney-info@uucpa.org
to sign up for a seat. Deadline is December 1. (If you don’t have email, you can call or snail-mail Misao or me).

Name and describe your favorite dish if you’d like, but Misao reserves the right to assign you something else if necessary to provide a balanced meal. She will send out dish assignments and directions to her house a week before the meeting.

If you can’t attend the luncheon, we’d love to have you come for the “formal” meeting from 2 to 3. But please RSVP to Misao or me so she can send you directions.

Conversation can be general while we are eating. About 2:00 we’ll call the meeting to order so you can share your thoughts about what annual celebrations were (are?) special to you and your family.

Philip Hodge, Court Jester

ps. This will be our only meeting in December. Enjoy the end-of-year Holidays!

Solstice Solace from the Elders

To All Our Democrat Friends: Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice any religious or secular traditions at all. We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2009, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures many of which considerably antedate the generally accepted one. Please note that this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

To Our Republican Friends: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

—Philip Hodge, Court Jester

Unitarian Universalist Church of Palo Alto