Unitarian Universalist Church of Palo Alto

Always Learning

October 7, 2005
Rev. Darcey Laine

Sabbatical Episode 3: Spiritual Direction and Marriage Equality

By some quirk of fate, 2 of my most anticipated sabbatical events were scheduled for the same week. The first was a University of Creation Spirituality Intensive on Spiritual Direction, which is a process of accompanying people on a spiritual journey that invites a deeper relationship with the spiritual aspect of being human. I have been working with a Spiritual Director once a month since I moved to the South Bay 5 years ago. This process of telling my story as a spiritual journey, and getting advice on how to choose my path has been very valuable. I chose this intensive because I wanted to be able to offer the same kind of reflective experience to those who come to speak with me as their minister.

After a 2 days of seminars and “Art as Meditation” on the Oakland Campus, we spent our last 24 hours at the IONS Retreat Center which is one of the most beautiful I have ever seen. I arrived early enough to practice yoga before our first seminar. I wanted to choose some place out of the way, and so chose a wooden deck between 2 unused dorms. As I began my first Sun Salutation, I gazed up at the ugly heater vent, and thought “well the view isn’t much” but as I rose from my second Salutation, I found myself looking directly into the eyes of a deer and thought “I stand corrected.” How amazing to practice a sun salutation under the warm sun instead of an airtight yoga studio.

Over the next 24 hours we enjoyed luscious vegetarian food, met for discussion, for seminars, for worship, and spent time in solitary quiet reflecting. We closed the night with a bonfire at the top of the hill, drumming and sharing songs and poems. On the second morning, we held our final seminar and a closing ritual. I stayed late since I was leaving for an event in Sacramento that didn’t start until later in the afternoon. Again I rolled out my yoga mat on a wooden deck, and had one of the loveliest yoga practices before packing my car and heading off on my next adventure. It was a perfect transition.

Now I entered my role as the Program Coordinator for The UU Legislative Ministry Marriage Equality Lobby Day. I had been working with Rev. Lindi Ramsden and a team of other volunteers to bring UU clergy from around the state together to express our support for AB19, the “Religious Freedom and Civil Marriage Protection Act.” That night almost 50 clergy and young adults gathered at the Sacramento Youth Hostel to prepare for a day of Lobbying our State reprsentatives. (These included Rev. Morgenstern and Robin Burns from our own congregation). We wanted our leaders to know that people of faith were not the Right-Wing monolith presented by the media. We feel our faith calls us to support Marriage Equality, and that clergy should be free to marry those whom their faith allows them to marry. As a UU minister, I am often called to marry 2 people of the same gender, but though the state will allow me to sign a marriage license for heterosexual couples, they will not extend the same rights to all the couples I join in a religious ceremony. At the end of the evening I knew more about Marriage Equality legislation in California than I have ever known about any bill. We ended our night by showing a wonderful documentary called “Tying the Knot” which moved me so much I am planning to show it here at the church on October 26.

The next morning we walked to the capitol to meet with a lobbyist from Equality California, and with other clergy from around the state to begin our day of lobbying. U.U.s made up more than half the clergy there. I was moved by how crucial our presence is as we represent the liberal religious community on this issue. I have to confess that I had never done this kind of lobbying before, and I was terrified to argue my case to my legislators. Armed with solid knowledge, the preparation of the night before, and the companionship of my colleagues, I plunged forward. It was a busy day at the capitol, so we met mostly legislative aids, but they listened patiently to our thoughts, and collected our business cards and the informational packet that UULM had prepared for each legislator.

After the walk back to the hostel at the end of our long day, my young adult partner Suzanne and I led the closing worship and people talked about their experiences. “I learned more today then I ever learned in Civics Class,” said one participant. It felt quite powerful to be there in body representing something I care about. I cleaned up our worship supplies, loaded my car, said goodbye to the amazing planning team and headed home.

Stay tuned! In our next installment I encounter Meister Eckhart and welcome my niece into the world...