Unitarian Universalist Church of Palo Alto

Weaving the Web

August 2, 2009
Rev. Amy Zucker Morgenstern

Old Vermont joke: A visitor, driving on a country road, sees a crusty Yankee hoeing in his garden and pulls over. He rolls down the window and calls out, “Excuse me, do you know how to get to Essex Junction from here?” The Vermonter stops, leans on his hoe, and says,

“Yep.”

Fifteen years ago, I moved to the small town of Strafford, Vermont and discovered that the crusty-Vermonters jokes were all too true. It wasn’t that people were unfriendly. They just didn’t often make an effort to be welcoming. And when they did, they were often so unaware of their insiders’ knowledge that they weren’t very helpful. The most comical examples were from the people who tried to give directions but could not comprehend what it meant to be a newcomer, resulting in conversations like this:

Amy: I’m new in town. Can you tell me a good mechanic nearby?
Native: Well, there’s a great one in Thetford Center.
Amy: That’s nearby, right? What’s the best way to get there?
Native: Well, you go past where the Catholic church used to be …
Amy: Where is that?
Native: Just past the old Mitchell place.
Amy: I don’t know where that is. I’m new in town …

Repeat until Amy gives up and uses the Yellow Pages and a map.

We asked Eva to come be our interim minister and bring a valuable outsider’s view to life at UUCPA. She was so impressed with all the wonderful things happening here that she had trouble thinking of improvements to suggest, but in a sermon this spring, she did tell us that we need to become more welcoming. We may not be old Yankee farmers, but it can still be as hard for new seekers to make their way into the network of the congregation as it is to feel at home as a newcomer to a tiny New England town.

One current leader affirmed this in a recent conversation with me. When she started coming here a few years ago, she knew two things right away: this was the place for her and her family; and she was going to have to find her own way. Again, it wasn’t that she met any unfriendly responses, but the burden was on her to introduce herself and find the activities that matched her interests. She is persistent and confident, so she stuck around, much to everyone’s benefit. But it shouldn’t take persistence to find the treasures of UUCPA.

I’ve been trying to shift this pattern. Instead of asking visitors to stand and introduce themselves at (so intimidating for any but the most extroverted! Have you noticed that most people who do it are members of another UU church, just visiting for the weekend, instead of actual newcomers?), we’re now introducing ourselves to them and then introducing them to the other members, as one does a guest who’s meeting one’s family. I’m starting to identify people who consider themselves floating greeters, their job being to watch for folks at coffee hour who are reading the bulletin boards, standing alone, or otherwise looking like they could use a friendly invitation to chat. We’ve had a newcomer’s introduction (“Discovering UUCPA”) after services every 4-6 weeks for the past year.

Now I’ll be leading a Hospitality Summit that will give all attendees the information and training they need to extend a hand to those who are just finding their way at UUCPA. Whether you wish to be an official hospitality volunteer or just warm up our UUCPA welcome, please come.

— Blessings,
Amy