Unitarian Universalist Church of Palo Alto

Reflection: Immaculee Ilibagiza

Bill Landauer
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Palo Alto, CA

In April of 1994, the Rwandan Hutu tribe rose up against its neighbors, the Tutsi tribe. In a terrible genocide, one million Tutsis were slaughtered in less than 100 days. One survivor, Immaculee Ilibagiza, has been a powerful influence and role model for me. A Tutsi, she survived the genocide by hiding with 7 other women in a 3 by 4 foot bathroom in a local minister’s home for 91 days. In her book, “Left to Tell,” Immaculee tells how she “crossed the desert” of terror, pain, and anger to emerge with love, compassion, and forgiveness.

In the following excerpt from the book, Immaculee describes one of the many times when a group of Hutus came looking for the hidden women. “I heard the killers call my name. They were on the other side of the wall, and less than an inch of plaster and wood separated us. Their voices were cold, hard and determined. ‘She’s here … we know she’s here somewhere … find her — find Immaculee’. There were many voices, many killers. I could see them in my mind; my former friends and neighbors, who had always greeted me with love and kindness, moving through the house carrying spears and machetes and calling my name. One voice rang out loudly ‘I have killed 399 cockroaches’. ‘Immaculee will make 400. It’s a good number to kill’. I cowered in the corner of our tiny secret bathroom without moving a muscle. I held my breath so that the killers wouldn’t hear me breathing. I closed my eyes and tried to make myself disappear, but their voices grew louder. I knew that they would show no mercy, and my mind echoed with one thought: If they catch me, they will kill me. If they catch me, they will kill me... I thought of my brothers and my dear parents, wondering if they were dead or alive and if we would soon be together in heaven.”

Immaculee did make it out alive. However, her parents and brothers were murdered by the Hutus. Her favorite brother, Damascene, was brutally butchered to death. In spite of all this, Immaculee used this disaster as a time to grow closer to God. She was able to see past the actions of the perpetrators and look into their lost souls. She saw them as children of God who had gone astray. She prayed that they would be stopped and that they would see their own transgressions. Immaculee knew that she did not want to live a life filled with thoughts of revenge. She refused to give in to hate and anger; instead she immersed herself in prayer, love, and even forgiveness.

After she was able to come out of hiding, she went to the jail to visit the imprisoned gang leader who had been directly responsible for the murder of her family.

I quote again from her book. “His name was Felicien; he had been a successful Hutu businessman whose children I’d played with in primary school. I shivered, remembering that it had been his voice I’d heard calling out my name when the killers searched for me at the pastor’s house where I was hiding. Felicien had let the devil enter his heart, and the evil had ruined his life like a cancer in his soul. I was overwhelmed with pity for the man. I could feel his shame. I reached out, touched his hands lightly, and quietly said what I’d come to say. I forgive you.”

Immaculee, like a saint, had crossed the worst desert imaginable to a human being, and was able to stay connected to the love in her heart. As humans we must, of course, try to prevent injustice with all of our ability … And as humans we, like Immaculee, have the potential, under any circumstances, to touch a special place inside ourselves, a place of spirit, love, and forgiveness.

Today Immaculee works to heal Rwanda from the ravishes of the genocide of 1994 by helping orphans and sharing the importance of the virtues of understanding and forgiveness.

 

Sermon: Crossing the Desert by Reverend Darcey Laine